Recently, the fellows on the Yuba-Sutter craigslist have been having a religious debate. One that I have not been a part of, as I truly believe that you are free to believe whatever it is that you like... until someone posted this today:

"There is a God

Seriously, I am tired of everyone who doesn't believe in God shoving it down everyone else's throat.

There is a God, accept it and move on.


There is no proof that God does not exist, Accept that fact and move on.

God created the world and set it in motion. He gave us free will, so that we can live our own lives and love him as we choose. When sin entered the world it monkeyed up Gods plan and led to the death of man. It was Gods rule that was broken and God fixed it with his son. Through Christ we are set free from the sin of the world and from the shackles of oppressive organized religion so that we can live a life of love and freedom. How ever if you choose to blindly follow a man who claims to be a servant of God then you will end up a slave.

God caused the writing of the bible and has protected it. The Catholic church controlled it because they would not allow any, but the priests to read the Bible. When King James became tired of the churches power he commissioned an English version. James was not an overly religious man neither were the scholars who translated the Bible. They translated the words from Greek and Latin into English.
From then on others have translated the Bible to suit their own doctrine.

True free Christians are far and few between. They are the ones that truly help people and love people with out reserve. The Christian slaves are slaves to dogma and church doctrine. They have learned enough to receive Christ as savior but have not bothered to read the Bible to learn the word of God or to truly understand the love of God.

But truly I am tired of all of the self righteous holier than thou atheists. Who seek and exploit every opportunity to cram their view down my throat until I choke on it. Then they are more than happy to feed me to the lions. "

Whoa, wait a minute... let me get this straight here... you're saying that Atheists are shoving their beliefs down... Christian's throats? What?! 

That was the final straw. I sit back, listen to these "good-hearted Christians" preach at me, sometimes for hours, and never once saying anything against their religion except "that is not what I think". I had to post. I had to take a stand against these people. So my post is as follows, copied and pasted exactly how I wrote it.



"Re: There is a God?

Wow. Simply wow. Atheists are forcing their beliefs down Christian's throats?

That is the biggest crock of crap I have ever heard. Never once have I forced my beliefs on anyone... but I can name Mormons, Christians and Catholics who tried to force their beliefs on me. All I have EVER said to ANYONE is "I am an atheist", and it causes every Christian in the joint to come up to me, preaching and saying that they will pray for my soul, asking me to go to their church because every church I have been to is the wrong one, apparently.

I know I'm not the only person who has gone through this. My boyfriend, an Agnostic, who has no religion but does believe in God, gets put through the same thing. Because he has no religion, he has put up with the same thing. I know that there are others, too.

At a concert recently, the lead singer of the opening band was making fun of you all... with a Bible with a hole in it. By the way, this is a non-customary Southern Gospel group, just FYI. He looks through the hole in the bible at the crowd and says, "So here I am... peering at you, judging you like any good Christian does...". Even your own people are making a mockery of you 'devout Christians" who judge me for being an atheist, and automatically assume that, should it even exist, I'd even want to go to Heaven. Honestly, why would I? An eternity of putting up with you guys? No thanks, send me to hell.

You know, I sit here typing, capitalizing God, Jesus, and Heaven, all to show you that I respect your beliefs. I've done it for as long as I have been an Atheist, and I will continue to do so, out of respect for you. Think about that. That's a hell of a lot more than you're showing me. So keep your prayers to yourself, because the fact that you judge me goes to show that you're going to need them for yourselves.

Unless you agree with me, please do not respond to this by sending me an e-mail. I will not argue with you, because I already know that you think you have all of the answers, and how can I compete with that? I admit to not having any of the answers, but I am on a quest to find them... and it won't be through your religions.

Thank you. Now, please, show me the respect that I have shown you. "


I was nothing but respectful. I am never anything but respectful to those people who believe differently than I do. I know I am not the only one.

In Los Angeles the other week, I saw a billboard on the highway/freeway thing while going to pick Steve (Mog) up for the concerts. It said "Pull the Plug on Athiesm         www.pulltheplugonathiests.org", yet we are the ones who are forcing our beliefs?

It bothers me. This whole thing bothers me. I respect them, yet they don't respect me. Why? I am a good person. I donate to charities, even though I need the money, while a lot (and I said A LOT, not ALL) of the good Christians make a lot and donate little to nothing. I help people. But because I am not Christian/Catholic/Mormon/etc. that does not matter. How is that so? How can it be that a higher being wouldn't respect me just on the basis that I am a good person? Is God really that, well, stupid? No, I did not think so. But Christians may judge me for this higher being, who I will call God for the sake of argument, as a horrible person for not believing a book that was written by humans? Now, doesn't that sound absurd?

To the Christians who read this, I don't know how many there are, thank you for not trying to convert me. I will also assume that you don't pray for my soul, and I thank you for that as well. While I do not pray, I do try to send out happy thoughts to you in your times of need, and I truly hope that is enough in your eyes so that we may still be friends. I wholeheartedly respect you and your beliefs, even though they differ from mine.

It hurts me that my being a good person isn't enough to these people. I hate being judged, and it is simply not fair. The simple fact that they judge me will keep me from ever exploring their religion further (yes, I used to be a Mormon AND a Christian), and keep me looking into other beliefs. Their arguments will not change the way that I think or feel about my religionlessness, and only push me further into not believing in their God.

Thank you for reading my rant, as I do feel very strongly about this subject.

  I have quit drinking Pepsi, and started drinking Diet Pepsi Zero. I have quit eating a butt-ton of candy. I have been watching my sugar intake, keeping it to a minimum for my teeth's sake.

  Popped the temporary filling Dr. Kennedy put in the last time I was there. Got in, he fixed it, and put a temp filling into my other hurting tooth. He didn't do a root canal on it, and let me just say that not even Extra Strength Vicodin is curing the pain. And I only have one left. And I am still in pain. And the dentist is closed for the weekend. Yippee. Gonna have to suck it up.

  Parents have been gone since Tuesday. Dad's getting carpal tunnel surgery and they will be home tomorrow morning. Brent and I have spent a lot of quality time together while they've been gone, which has been great. See, when I take Vicodin, I get needy/affectionate... but this wasn't a bad thing this time around.

  Pepsi tastes bad now that I've gotten used to the Diet Pepsi Zero.

  Meeting and greeting Puscifer on April 4th, and now they've added a second show. Yeah. Just getting front row seats... no more VIP stuff. And John's excited, too.

  Gonna smoke, eat some Chinese and veg out!

  Okay, so, I've been unavailable lately. I got Steam, and downloaded some games, and have since been addicted to Sid Meyer's Pirates!, Virtual Villagers 3, and Plant Tycoon. I've barely had the time for my Dragons!

  So, an update:

• Lost the title to the Honda... so it is still Lori's. I HONESTLY don't know how I lost it. I know where I put it, but it just wasn't there when I went to get it. So now I have to completely inconvenience Laura because it's still her car. :( I am such a jerk. :/
• Back on my meds, and feeling better. Not sick anymore, but it really screwed up my sleep schedule. I'm usually awake from 3pm to 7-9am now, which sucks because it takes me an hour to fully wake up, and 1/2 hour for my shower, and even longer to get Brent up to drive me around... which means that, if I have to do something before 5pm, like go to the bank or pay a bill, I can't!
  
• Brent's driving me around now! Since I can't legally drive the Honda, and Paco is officially dead, I have no car and must rely on Brent to drive me places. I've been feeling very... cabin-feverish because of this. I'd take his car to go out, but it's a stick. >.<
  
• Christmas went well. Missed my brother, though. I got to talk to him so I was happy.
  
• I've quit accepting Samantha's calls. She's using me. She asked me on voicemail if the offer to let her come to Arkansas still stood... which is hilarious, because I never said she could come. But I can understand how someone could confuse "Hey, I'm moving to Arkansas sometime in '09!" with "Come with me to Arkansas!". Then there's her only calling me when she needs a ride. That stopped abruptly when she called saying she needed a favor, to which I replied "If it requires me and my car, I can't. I got pulled over last night for not having a headlight and got busted for not having my registration or insurance cards with me". OH! Then she calls me and tells me she needs me to watch the kids (three of them) so she can go to work release. But she can't afford to pay me. Needless to say... I'm not a doormat anymore.
  
• The box turtles are healthy now. They've been eating A LOT of dried meal worms and lettuce, and drinking a lot of water. Bob's still good!
  

  So, there ya have it. My updates. Now... for resolutions!

1. I will lose weight.
2. I will play in the snow.
   
3. I will ride a horse.
   
4. I will move to Arkansas.
   
5. I will let go of the past and start planning for the future.
   
6. I will not be taken advantage of, and I will only allow people into my life who won't take advantage of me.
   
7. I will try to let people know what they mean to me more often.
   
8. I will try not to take advantage of anyone.
   
9. I will NOT rescue anymore damned animals. I already have a zoo, and my dad's getting pissed.
   
10. I will try to take better care of myself, so that I can better care for others.
    

  The first three are the same ones I have every year. While I did play in the snow in 2008, I didn't lose enough weight or ride a horse, so I have to start them all over. :P Yeah, that's it.

  I hope everyone had a good Christmas, and I hope 2009 brings you everything you want!

I want to let everyone know this:

  I AM PROUDLY NOT VOTING FOR THE NEXT PRESIDENT BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHO IS THE LESSER OF THE TWO EVILS.

  HOWEVER, I -WILL- BE VOTING NO ON PROP 8.

  Thank you, and goodnight.

  As of Saturday, I am the proud owner of Lorilori's car, which she has now named Meow Unit. To anyone who doesn't know what her car is, it's a 1991 Honda Civic hatch back. Well, I guess it would be my car, now. See, I had to have her name it because it was her first car, as Paco is mine. It wouldn't be right for me to name HER child. So, a few minutes ago, she decided on Meow Unit!

  Okay, so Miss Meow Unit is at a "garage" right now, and the wiring is being at least partially redone, as Dave thinks the wiring is what's causing the Check Engine light to come on. That's good news! I may not have to rebuild the engine, which will save me about $1500! WOOT! And when I get her registered, the license plates will read MARYKTY. :D

  Also, I called up Progressive, where Paco is insured, and added the Honda. Paco alone was $35 a month, and adding the Honda only made it up to $53 a month! How awesome is that? I dropped Paco down to 4k miles annually, then made M.U. 8k annually, since I'll be driving to Laura's in M.U. ;)

  And I just received a call from my uncle, and apparently he's getting me a job for Data Entry for the auto shop he works for. Under the table. :) Maybe 3 days a week, which is nice for me since I need a low-stress environment. And I love cars. And working there will earn me perks, like free computer diagnosis. >.> Heeee.

  Um... what else? OH! So, Brent and I bought a Wii yesterday. THANKS A LOT LAURA AND DANIEL! :P I SWORE I would never buy a Wii. I swore UP and DOWN. But we did it. And we got Zelda and Wii Sports and the Chocobo game and Paper Mario and Mario Party 8 and a different Wii games thing with Air Hockey and darts and stuff. And Soul Calibur. Yeah. :D

  So, that's it I think. Pictures later of Wii fun and slumber parties at Lorilori's. :D

  I know that this is going to sound stupid, but I was snooping today. Sometimes I can't help it. Sometimes I have this need to check on exes. I know, I know. It is stupid. But what can I say? But nothing good ever really comes out of it.

  I look up David. The one who dumped me for an 18 year old when he was 34. Yeah, him. They got married, and, yeah, I was depressed about it. Not because I wanted to marry him, but because he didn't want to marry me. Because no one wanted to marry me. Not even Brent wants to marry me. I figure, if he did, we would be.

  They have a baby now. A boy. And they look so happy. And yeah, I'm depressed about it. Not because he didn't want a baby with me, but because I want a baby and I don't have one.

  I'm going to be 26. In 18 days. I know that's the reason I am so depressed about the child thing. I wanted kids by now. I wanted a husband by now. I have a boyfriend who needs about three years to commit, and we've only been together a year. Shit, David and Misty got hitched 3 months in, and they're doing well according to sources who shall remain nameless.

  How long does it take someone to figure out if you're the one? I don't think Brent needs three fucking years. Shit, I know he's great for me and I am willing to commit now. I'll deal with the bullshit that comes with it... like having to clean up after him and make sure he doesn't spend too much... making sure he doesn't drink too much... making sure he gets up for work. I already do it and it isn't all that bad!

  I shouldn't compare myself of my relationship to anyone else's. I know this, too. Still.

  Anyway, I just needed to get this all out. I feel better now. Or maybe I feel better because of the hydrocodone I took (thanks, dad!). In any event, I shall go back to watching Brent play GTA: IV and downloading roms to put on the XBox I'm having modded.

  OH! Puppies are doing great! SO cute! 6 weeks old now, too. Will be posting pictures... I just keep forgetting my camera when I go out to smoke, so I've been missing the chance to take cute pictures! SOON, though. :D

Peace, love and peanut butter.

Sorry. I want peanut butter. >.>

Edit: Here's the puppies!


Back Left to right: Frappuccino, Espresso. Front: Chai.

  So, I have been really super busy lately.

  Brent moved in here with me. Long story short, his mom kinda forced him out and I was the fall-back person. Actually, not really. But kinda. He was going to live with his buddy, Nhut, but his mom just dropped the moving thing on him, and we literally had a day to get him out. Living together is working out pretty good, though... except he's got bowls, cans and cups on my floor, which irritates me to no end. Oh, and I have NO room to walk in my room. And I trip on his things constantly. Yeah, we're gonna have a talk soon.

  Fatty died right before my last post, right? THE NEXT DAY Lucy died. Yep. 2 hamsters in 2 days. I did good. But Freya, Shmooey and Three are in good health.

  Mocha's DEFINITELY pregnant. She's so fat! And Brent and I took Cocoa to the vet, and can now register him with the county! But the vet told me that Cocoa is a "one-balled wonder", exact words, no joke. My puppy only has one ball! :(

  I've been going to work a lot. A LOT. I am now OFFICIALLY a secretary. I did all of Brent's paperwork and turned it in, and have been accepted at the school as a member of the staff, so to speak. They like me there, and I like it there. Teachers have even asked me to fix things! I WILL be getting part of Brent's paycheck, too. Not that I want it... but I would love a check from him so I can put it in a frame and call it my first real paycheck. It would be, honestly. Can't call Wal-Mart a real job. :P

  Got a new phone. It's bloody awesome. Still Ghettro POS, but eh. Boost sucks, I heard. At any rate, I love this phone. I can hear a pin drop... it's static-free.  Truly amazing technology for Metro PCS.

  Brent's mom cut my hair into an actual A-Line. Looks good, IMO.

  Haven't hung out with Rebecca in a long time. Don't really miss it. I'm drama-free and happy.

  Gained weight. Enough to make my favorite size 12 GAP jeans not fit me anymore. I heard them screaming this morning when I tried to put them on. Won't be trying that again anytime soon, let me tell you.

  I'm done for now. More to come as I am less lazy.

  Today's Brent's birthday. Do I get to spend it with him? No. And why not? Because his parents didn't invite me to. Again, I'm hurt. I should be allowed to spend time with my boyfriend on his birthday. What I should have done was driven my happy ass to Folsom, even at the risk of my car keeling over and dying, to show his parents that they are inconsiderate for not thinking about something like this.

  I am aware that I'm not on my medication, and I shouldn't make any rash decisions, but I am ready right now to three-way call Brent and his parents and dump him, then make sure he and his parents know that they are the reason I'm doing it. Now, before anyone comments about how I shouldn't do that on his birthday, I want you to know that, if I did this, I would NOT do it today. I would, however, do it before he came back here.

  I do love Brent. I love him so much that it hurts. I'm starting to wonder if love isn't enough. No. Scratch that. I know love isn't enough. I just don't understand why he doesn't care enough to fix this problem... or even make an attempt to. He knows how much this hurts me, he said he'd talk to them, yet today, when I should be with him, I'm not. I can't wait for him to realize how much it hurts me. I've expressed it on numerous smaller occasions... and three big "I need to express my feelings about this," occasions. How many more direct hints must I give before it sinks in? I'm not sure, and I'm not too willing to wait and count them.

  I know that he is the best I have had, and I know I won't get anyone better after him. That is the reason I have stayed with him this long through this. I just don't think his passiveness is good for me. Not about something that really is so important. I have, in previous relationships, taken this shit and let it slide, leaving myself feeling horrible. Now, in a relationship that I truly want to work, do I take what I have learned from the other relationships and end this one? Or do I, yet again, let something big slide, knowing how miserable it will make me in the short, and long, run? I really need help with this, so please PLEASE help me. PLEASE. I am begging. I'm willing to get on webcam, get on my knees and BEG for help on this one. Please. Please. Help me not to make another horribly huge mistake in my life.

My new laptop. Isn't it SO me?


Hehe, my Kuja wallpaper. He's the villain in Final Fantasy IX.


My mommy bought me this MP4 player as an early birthday present. It's a COBY, 1 Gig.


That's my brother. Doesn't he look so dapper in his uniform?


Here he is again. Aww!

Okay, so now an update, I suppose. I've been playing Black & White 2 with Brent lately. Rather, he's been playing, and I've been helping! But it's so much fun, and I've been enjoying it.

He and I finally finished the network we've been working on! It's a computer lab at the school he/we work at, and granted, it's only 17 computers, I'd never done anything like this before. I'm so proud!

And, what else...? Brent and I have reached 10 months, an all time high for me. We went to Olive Garden after we finished the computer lab. It was nice.

Might have puppies soon, as my Chihuahuas did the deed. Four times. I had to sit in the dirt in my backyard and comfort them when they got stuck together. Let's just say that I won't be allowing this to happen anymore, and my dad's female WILL be getting fixed. Cocoa shall remain in tact due to my inability to allow my animals to be cut into. Oh, and wounds freak me out to the point of passing out. I wouldn't make a good nurse.

My wasp bite is still irritated. Well, it's kinda itchy, but it feels weird. Like, dry skin... only not normal. I don't know, it's trippy.

Oh, yeah, and Tangerine, my leopard gecko, died. I got a new one, a female, and named her Banana. She's cute. And I think both Banana and Fluffy are pregnant. We'll see.

Anyway, done for now!

Hehe! So, I decided to show everyone my "collection" of Converse All Stars. I now have a grand total of SEVEN pairs, FTW. Not very many, I know, but how many can I buy when I can't even afford to eat?

Okay. I only have pictures of five pairs because I couldn't find the other two pairs when I went to storage today. One pair is a pink high-top, size 7, and the other is a pair of standard black low-tops, size 6.5.

Here we go!



Group Photo!


Blue low-tops, size 6, TJ bought them for me for my birthday!


Black and Gray high-tops, size 7, TJ gave these to me, too. Broke the shoelace. :(


Pink and green plaid low-tops, size 6, Brent bought these for me and got himself some standard black low-tops. :D


Tore-up looking hightops, size 7. I can't lie... yard sale.


Sea green and pink low-tops, size 7, Becca bought them for me because they were on sale at Kohl's for $20!

So, I'm not a size 7 (9 in women's)... I am a size 6 (which is an 8 in women's). Don't get me wrong, I will wear 7's. But they don't fit and I show toilet paper in the toes! There are SO many cute ones out that I want, but man, they're so expensive. Even on sale they're too rich for my blood. I mean, hello... went to a YARD SALE and got a pair. Of course, I Lysol any shoes I purchase at yard sales.

Anyway, I just wanted to show off my meager collection of Converse! Thanks for looking. :P